The manager’s wellbeing toolkit: Why your employee wellbeing strategy starts with them

You might have heard the anecdotal phrase “People don’t leave jobs, they leave managers.” What’s interesting about this phrase is that it’s not anecdotal at all; it’s demonstrably true. 

69% of employees say their manager affects their mental health as much as their spouse or partner — more than their doctor, more than their therapist. That's the finding from The Workforce Institute at UKG's global study of 3,400 employees across 10 countries.

But are employee wellbeing strategies equipping managers for that reality? Lyra Health's 2025 Workforce Mental Health Trends report found that while 85% of HR and benefits leaders consider managers integral to their workforce mental health strategy, only 39% actually provide resources to help managers support their own wellbeing – let alone their team’s. 

Organisations rely on managers to carry the single biggest influence on their people’s happiness at work, without giving them the tools to do it well. Business wellbeing suffers first at the manager level, then the employee level. 

In honour of Happiness at Work Week (now in its 9th year, running from 21-25th September across 55+ countries), we’ve created the ultimate Manager’s Wellbeing Toolkit, a practical building block of any workplace wellbeing strategy to help them support everyone in their team. 

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Five practical tools for supporting your team's wellbeing

1: The check-in framework

This check-in framework, and most of this toolkit, relies on specificity. 

The quality of the question informs the quality of the answer, so talking around a topic or asking an open question like “So… how are things going?” will result in a perfunctory response. You haven’t prompted them with anything more clear-cut to expand on, so why are they left to fill in the blanks?  

Instead, try thinking about the shape of the work itself. How can your question actually get to the root of what, specifically, is keeping them busy, or potentially overworking them? 

Here are some examples to use in your next 1:1:

RE: Workload
"What's had to slip or get rushed this week?"
This helps identify the trade-offs someone's making without them having to admit "I'm overloaded" outright, and it’s easier to answer when compared with a general question like “how busy are you?”  

RE: Energy
"What's given you energy this week, and what's drained it?"
Splitting the question in two makes it easy to answer, and it doesn’t necessitate someone to declare they’re struggling; they can simply name one thing that’s draining them. 

RE: Permission to raise something early
"Is there anything sitting just under the surface right now that you haven't mentioned yet?"
This is deliberately open-ended and slightly unusual, so it doesn’t read as routine. This phrasing signals that you want a real, honest answer instead of the standard “No, all good thanks.”

RE: Flexible/context-specific
"Given [the project, change, deadline], how sustainable does this pace feel for you right now?"
The bracketed part is yours to fill in. Anchor the question to something real and immediate; it gives them an easy opportunity to flag any obstacles. 

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2: Spotting early signs 

This tool is arguably the most valuable in the kit. If you can successfully identify when people are struggling, you’re far better equipped to help – and nip stress in the bud before it grows into a bigger problem.

Again, specificity is key. You are looking for clear-cut, identifiable signs of stress rather than a hunch that someone might be struggling. Spotting things early is one of the simplest ways to improve employee wellbeing before it becomes a bigger issue.

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What to look out for:

• Response times to messages or requests that have noticeably slowed, especially from someone who's usually quick
• Withdrawing from meetings they'd normally speak up in, or turning cameras off when they didn't before
• Working consistently outside their normal hours, e.g. early emails, late-night messages, weekend activity that's become routine rather than occasional
• Cancelling or rescheduling 1:1s more than once in a row
• A drop in the quality or care of work that's usually reliable, without an obvious external cause
• Becoming noticeably more short in written or verbal exchanges than is typical for them

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When to check in, and when to escalate?

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Check in (one occurrence, or within a week or two):

If you notice one or two of the above signs, in isolation, treat it as a prompt to check in rather than a diagnosis. Use one of the questions from the framework above and see what comes up. Most of the time, this resolves the issue before it becomes anything more.

Escalate (a pattern over three or more weeks, or several signs at once):

If the same sign persists for three weeks or more, or multiple signs show up together, that is now a pattern. A check-in alone probably won’t fix it; this is the point to involve HR, point them towards an EAP, or bring in wellbeing support rather than trying to manage it solo.

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3: Talking about workload without it becoming a performance conversation 

As soon as someone senses that a wellbeing conversation is instead hinting towards questioning their performance, their hackles will – understandably – be up. It’s important to be clear: You’re checking in on whether they have the capacity to complete the work that they’ve been given, or if it’ll shift them into “unpaid overtime” territory. 

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Here are some example questions that can act as a springboard into the conversation:

"I want to check whether what's on your plate right now is realistic, not whether you're keeping up with it."

"Is the pace of what you're working on sustainable, or is something having to give behind the scenes?"

"Are you having to put in extra hours to stay on top of this, or is it manageable within your normal time?"

"What would need to change for this workload to feel realistic, rather than a stretch?"

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Next, and this is important: 

1. Actually listen to what they tell you. 
2. Follow through on it. 

If their answer reveals a capacity issue, that’s your cue. Go and adjust that unrealistic deadline, redistribute that giant task, press pause on that unnecessary assignment. And if needed, run it further up the flagpole. 

Skip that step, and the whole conversation was just a chat about the weather. What's the point in asking, if nothing changes afterwards? Your follow-through, or lack thereof, teaches people exactly how honest to be next time.

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4: How to build wellbeing into how the team works day-to-day, instead of isolated conversations

Here are some practical ways you can build healthy work habits into your long-term strategy. The benefits of employee wellbeing tend to show up gradually, which is why habits like these are worth building in for the long run. 

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Modelling it yourself

At the risk of repeating a well-worn piece of advice, modelling healthy workplace habits starts at the top. As the manager, what you do sets the standard for what your team believes is normal.

That means:

• Not sending that midnight work email (yes, even the one ending in “no rush needed!” because the time stamp alone sets an unrealistic expectation.) 
• Visibly taking an actual break away from the office, instead of the infamous “al desko” lunch, shovelled into a face haloed by the blue light of a computer screen. When people see you doing that, it makes them feel that they have to follow suit. 
• Being honest about your workload. Tell people when you’re stretched thin or need help, instead of only ever asking other people how they’re coping. 

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Team rhythm

Find small, easy ways to weave this into the everyday rhythm of work. For example:

• A short, low-pressure question about workload built into a regular team meeting instead of only ever in 1:1’s 
• Start a meeting by asking what’s competing for people’s attention that week, before you dive into the agenda
• Build in a standing point at the end of a project to ask what the pace felt like instead of just focussing on the outcome 

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Structural habits‍

Modelling good habits matters, but it only goes so far if the structure around your team works against it. These are the habits built into how the team operates, not just in what you personally do. Structure is what turns good intentions into real employee wellbeing in the workplace, instead of just on paper.

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• A lightweight, recurring workload check across the whole team (not just individuals who've flagged something) to catch imbalances early
• Protecting one meeting-free block in the week as a default, rather than leaving it to individuals to claim the space themselves
• Reviewing recurring commitments periodically to check whether they're still earning their place, rather than letting them run indefinitely

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5: Knowing when to hand off

There are some things that are outside of a manager’s remit. Mental health crises, financial stress, or anything requiring HR/EAP/professional support should be handed off to the relevant people immediately. 

And don’t forget about your own mental health. As mentioned at the start of the blog, only 39% actually provide resources to help managers support their own wellbeing (despite 85% saying managers are central to it for everyone else.) You’re being asked to carry a lot of responsibility for how your teams feel at work, often without anyone asking the same question about you. 

It’s worth building the same habits in for yourself that this toolkit encourages for your team: Check in with your own manager, give yourself permission to flag it early if your own capacity is stretched, and build in the same recovery time you’d want your team to take. 

The International Week of Happiness at Work runs from 21-25 September. Use it as a springboard to check in with your teams, instead of thinking of it as another item on your to-do list. Book fifteen minutes with one person on your team this week and ask them one of the questions above.

If you want help turning that into a longer-term habit, Thrive's mentoring tools can support it.